have some inks. doot doot doodily doo.
you can’t see it but panel one has a light green wash over it in the realsies, which was meant to put focus on kyo. unfortunately because of the ‘hot’ feel of the green, it kind of instead draws focus away. blue focuses better, and works better with the mood, but i wanted to try another colour to see what happened. it obviously didn’t scan well at all.
panel 1 and 2 are meant to flow together in a shape vaguely reminiscent of a bottle. and all the downturning arrows just. y’know.
the slow descent into alcoholism shut up i’ve been listening to the New Pornographers all day shhh
other than that, furor popped into the stream and caught a big mistake with the wrist in the last ‘panel’ that had to be corrected - so thank you SO MUCH furor!
i still don’t like the flow from the dialogue under panel 3 into ‘panel’ 4’s dialogue, i feel like one’s tempted to read it out of order. i feel like that’s entirely the fault of the tail of the last panel’s speech balloon. but there’s a problem with pointing it any other way. if it pointed straight or down in any way, it looked like the glass was talking. if it pointed towards the right, it looked like osiah was talking. if i left it off, it seemed entirely out of place (like an internalized thought) so blarg. the real solution would have been to pre-plan better and move the tail of osiah’s balloon in panel 3 to a different location - maybe the left side. HINDSIGHT.
ps BOOZE BOOZE BOOZE BOOZE BOOZE see also subsection: booze
(concrit is very welcome, please feel free)